Dear Cinderella

by Deborah Clark

1

“ Bryn,

I am your queen, yours alone, you shall make me a place, and a home, you shall, oh, you shall. I will wait, and I know this now, I will wait. I have tasted the drugs, the metaphoric ones. I have spilled the metaphoric blood. I have lied, I have sinned, I have pained you, I gave in. But you love me? You do love me. No. Does it matter about anyone else? Does it matter that my words, my hatred will fill up the empty bottles? It doesn’t, it does. No, it doesn’t.

Like the girl with the flower long ago, but this love, it is gone now. I have been shocked, when I saw your eyes, when I felt your touch I was electrified. I found it all. But my eyes they were not good enough, not blue enough. Because you can have her. She can be your queen. I would rather be a whore. I would rather be a peasant than your queen. You make me think, make me pretend. So many falsehoods, so many lies. Fuck the whore who begs for you at night, she had a reputation farther than mine. I had none, never will. I am not your bride. I will never be anything else in anybody’s eyes.

Everyone is my victim though, everyone. I am sorry if men delude themselves to think a woman was made for one thing. I am not. I was not made for you, did not steal from you, I will not kill for you, lie for you or die for you. You are a man.  You are a man. And now my sisters turn to delude me. Now my mother’s turn to come and stab at me. Now it is the shadows' turn to play at me. Everywhere I turn there is no envy, but mine alone, mine alone. That is all there is in this world. This world that is mine alone. Now these corridors I follow down, these paths I cry down, they are hollowed out like my heart. It has been days and months. But I cannot get this out of my head. I cannot. When I saw you, when you let me follow you, stupidly and blindly, why did you not just end it there, with me as just your friend? I have known you, but I don’t want to any more. I don’t want to anymore. I was an innocent. I was. Yes, I was.

Goodbye,

Bryn

As I dab this ink onto this paper. You will be caught, found, shattered, and bound. In those shackles, yes in them. Shackles wont free you, bound and you will not feel the same. You will know my eternity now. You will know it. You will not feel the same. Don't ever fuck with me again. Do not toy with a harmless young girl's emotions. Women are meant for men. The cold heavyhearted ones. While boys are meant for girls. Do leave it there. Do leave it.

Good morrow,

Bryn “

I sealed up that letter tight.

With the parcel steaming in my hands I tied and untied the ribbon so many times within my hands. I watched it thinking it to burn, and all my work and penmanship would be nothing if not given directly to him. I wanted to see his face once he read it.

I wanted to smile and look down upon him and tell him, "Do you love me now? Do you falsely love me now?”

I let my dark hair curl. I let it spin, because as a girl I was strawberry blonde. With my golden curls so straight. I was not straight anymore, I was not good anymore. I was twisted and twirled like those curls under my blue suede hood. If he found me before they found him I would be so unlucky.

To think he is stupid for waiting and staying here this long. How did he not get caught? Everyone has spoke of the crimes over and over, repeatedly. Now the rumors get worst each day. Then why does he stay? It is his girl, the milk maid? The whore. She is with child in her womb.

I hear the other servants say,”She is so sick and cannot travel.”

All the rumors, there was truth to them.

“If only she stayed to her duties. She wouldn’t be plump with child from the stable boy.”

Now that girl she could have been me. Could have? Should have? Would have been me? NO. No, I think not. I think that is it right there. I think I know a wife and a husband lay in a bed, but a child lays with its mother longer. A man does not lay down in his bed so long as a woman does. He does not stay home. A man makes the bread. He sells it, he buys it. This I know. So, when love comes again, tries to blind me of all her faults I will spit at her, and call her names. I will not welcome her. I will not sit her by my side and laugh happily.

2

And to think somewhere you are one of them. The soot, the ash spread out mixed in with the mud. The paths dirtying my feet mixed with the many people standing in my way. I have just this one thing to be done and I will get it done. You will not see me again. Not for another lifetime. Ever. I will not be your goddess. I will not be your queen. You chose your choice. I cannot see you. I will not let you convince me otherwise.  I must pick up my pace. I must. I need to shift through all these people faster. I need to run, but not in this dress it is my only good one. My only good one.

It is damp here. The rain is coming soon. Again, I wish sadly that I was back at the grounds, back at the home. No matter how desolate it seems there. I would rather be in the cold of the stone, than the chill of the dampened, muddy Earth seems sickly today.

The trash that lines these streets, and to think somewhere you are one of them. I pass the wanted poster again. I don’t understand how they cannot recognize your face, or did I scar it well enough with the hot candle wax? I must have. Maybe it is she that walks among them. Doing in your deeds like you used to ask of me. It is her, isn't it? That just gives me more to tell the sheriff. That just gives me more to tell to the jailer , to the king who will be happy.

What will I get for it?

What will I get for my enactment of revenge? Not quite enough,

payment, coin? Maybe that is good enough.

Now my godmother she taught me wise in my dreams.

She was just a strong voice summoning my conscience, “Keep it, hide it, and stash it once you gain it. Go to the bankers and hold it there.”

I let her voice slip into the corner of mind, numbly controlling me, “Buy a beautiful wedding dress or buy yourself a beautiful gown.”

I listened like a marionette played by a puppeteer. I did well. I did so very well, “Buy or rent a home. Just do not let the witch find it. Do not let there be a word of it, do it anonymously. Do not give your name and hide your face. Give them enough detail to grab him up and lock him away, but do not whatsoever you do give them your name.”

I have left as the sheriff said, “Tonight will be a night to celebrate if all goes well.”

So now all I had to do was wait. A horrible thought went across my head lastly. What would happen to her? I will tell her to leave. But I can’t. If I do she will give Bryn wind that they are coming for him. I can’t.

Let the fates decide, you have played your course in history, now go to the market, get the things that need to be gathered for tonight.

I listen to that voice there that is in the back of my head telling me the good things, The pleasant voice not the screaming harsh one. I set the money away at the bankers. That is for another day besides it is getting late.

By the time I am walking up the pass back to the house, the sun has began to set. I can hear hounds in the fields, a woman’s cries, the shouts of men in the far distance. They are on his trail now and all I can do is smile. Just smile.

I knock at the door, one of the servants lets me in and hurries me. We set the supplies away together steadfast. The servant tells me to wipe away the fragrance, and to hurry upstairs, and change my dress. If she caught me in this dress. Well let’s just say it would be the last of the dress.

I change, set some soot to my face, the tips of my hair, I dishevel it, so it is not as curling and pretty as it was before. I put it back, making it seem like I have been working for hours today. I obviously have not. She won’t know this. Mother will know only that I have been to town and have been gone all day. I could have very well been to different markets. I could have very well taken quite some nap on the way here, or I could have been trying to find the person that took half her wealth, by searching the fields with the mobs for him.

Mother would not know. It wouldn’t be the first time I spread the truth to her. It would not be the first time I laid it down thinly, like jam on bread.

No it wouldn’t.

My sisters walk into the room now in front of my person, they ask in unison, "Now where have you been you little tid wit?"

I would love to roll my eyes at the sound of their horrid accent. But I know Veronica is only acting. She is quite fond of me now and lately. It hadn’t always been that way. Opal I do not believe she ever thinks befoe she asks, it is inbred in her, the hatred. She reminds me a lot of her mother. Not the beauty, because she doesn’t have that really. Her mother I know was beautiful once it’s just hard to see it. What were Veronica and Opals father like? Do they look or act like him? Or did they have different fathers as awful as that sounds. But if you saw them you would know why. Completely different ends of the string you know. Maybe she did have two different men, but who was I to know? All I knew is they were here and in my face as always greedy, shoving, pushy, and rude as always.

3 After I finished up the rest of the chores and cleaning the house yesterday I slept. It had been so long since I had an actually good bit of sleep. I dreamt for once in what seemed liked years of something other than the bucket and the mop. I dreamt of Bryns' eyes. Those eyes behind the bars, encaged. I could only smile as I watched his eyes within the light of the fire, in that dark cell. underground.

I dreamt of Evelyn (Veronica) and Opal. How they were twisted as the seasons, always changing. How their arms transformed into trees branches, that the leaves changed to each its own designated color. The patterns were all different. Evelyn's orange hair grew wildly into a darker auburn, with reds and yellows as well. Opal's hair was as dark as ever yet it changed into deep shades of green, then to lighter ones. The Earth beneath me was my mothers. Her face twisted in the dirt, filthy as I wished it to be, dark and cold, like in winter. If Evelyn was Fall and Opal Spring, Mother Winter, than was I Summer?

So bright, I was summer, I was not a tree, I was the daisies with those bright petals popping up through their stems.

So help me, if I was to become a flower, so pure.

I continue the routine of looking dirty. Even though I never truly am. I bathe, clean my hair, and twirl it with the hot iron. Spinning it as if was golden like in my child hood, but I dress in rags. Mother will resent me, always has.

I hear my mother’s screech, "EVELYN VERONICA HARPER!"

It is always so shrill and distinguished, then I hear a faint knock on my door, I open it, orange hair is fleeing into the air behind Evelyn, as her swift feet take her down the stairs.

I faintly say,"Evelyn."

I just stare, wondering what in the hell did she do to have mother scream at her.

It is only my voice she ever yells, "ELLE."

But this time it is fine, I breathe in and wonder what she wanted. I step forward not ready for the day just yet. I feel the crunch of the parchment beneath my feet. I move my foot, pick it up, and unscroll it. Her penmanship is lacking behind mine, and that is because she takes lessons every day. I do not clearly because I am a servant.

It reads as follows:

" Elle,

Meet the King today. You must save Amelia, she was my dearest friend. Do this for me please sister. We have all heard the rumors. Mother knows nothing of her whereabouts, it should be safe, deliver her for me to the king, save her soul sister, save her."

I cannot read the rest. Evelyn doesn’t know what she is asking of me, doesn’t know she is killing me to see the whore.

My sister you do not know how much this act will ache me to see her face.

The rest of the note gives further instructions on how to reach her, and gives coin to see her to the castle and the king.

If only it were any other woman. Evelyn how do you not know what they have done to my heart?

I read the end carefully, opening it again.

It reads:

“I will keep mother preoccupied and have the servants do your duties. Today will not be busy, the house need not be spotless.”

I shake my head, as a tear falls on my cheek, and step back into my quarters.

If Opal or Mother find out my hind will be had. I look around. I don’t have enough coin for an outfit to see the King. My dress is not washed. I have just woken and already today is a bad start to a day. I must gather my best rags and head to the bank, then the tailors. Maybe to the whore first. It doesn’t matter the order it must be done.

I grab the coal liner out of my makeshift drawer. Just a little to liven my green eyes. Just a little, I pinch my cheeks several times. My face reddens, perfect blush.

I grab the blue suede hood, once again I head out onto the path of the countryside. The walk is brisk, and the day is just beginning so my start is not bad if I can catch up with time on my feet.

Father Time might be swift, but I am swifter.

The village is just seeing life and beginning, as I head into the bankers, then head straight back out, realizing I do not know the price at all for clothes. I walk to the tailor, have him measure me once inside, every part of me, even the width and length of my feet.

I shy as he touches the bottom of my foot, he looks at me, "For such a tiny girl your feet are not as dainty."I laugh, "My apologies good sir."

"No, my dear girl there is only two pairs of dressing shoes I am able to sale you. In fact one I would be willing to throw in with the first pair, of no charge of course. As a merchant I should have enough things to sale to everyone, even someone so pretty as you."

"Well you are so very nice sir. I know you need my business but you don’t have to go so far to lie, I am not pretty."

“Oh, but you are. Who fills your head with nonsense that you’re not? Just because you are not in finery does not make you not pretty."

He hands me the first pair of dressing shoes,"My dear girl."

I try them on a perfect fit.

He hands me a pair of shoes, they are wrapped up in silk sleeves,"Now these were given to me by a wondering gypsy woman sometime ago. They are beautiful, unique, and have never fit any one that has tried them on. Do try them."

I don’t know quite what to think about it. It seems that they are magical, mysterious even. I set my foot into one. They are made of glass I notice, and right as I do he tells me, “They are crystal."

I notice they are not clear, but they shine like a diamond. It looks like there are specks of diamonds inside of the glass. The glass seems charcoal and frosted almost, beautiful. I have never felt or seen anything of such high quality.

“But sir why would you be gift me with these?"

"They are my gift dear child. No more, no less. Do cherish them, be very careful with them."

"I will, I promise."

He smiles, "Do not break it."

“I will not, now shall we?"

He brings me more clothing and my eyes widen at how many beautiful items my hands touch, “There is a dress almost as beautiful as those slippers. I shall bring it to you."

I nod my head and wait.

"The gypsy woman she imparted it as well. It seems as if she knew one day they would be meant for someone, maybe that someone was you? She was as pretty as you, she was."

My heart skips a beat when he tells me these words. I never knew of my mother. Could it have possibly been her?

4 I try on the clothing I need, and the two beautiful things that I will get. I ask him to hold them. I will be right back just out the door. I hear the gossip on the streets as I head out, in murmurs that they have caught him but the King is still upset. My thoughts wonder why he would still be upset.

Never mind it, just get this done, Elle.

I take all the coin from the bankers. I tell the banker, “I might be back.” With a false hope that I will. I close the door behind me and set back to the tailor’s store. The tailor smiles upon seeing me and lets me in.

"I will need these in a bag or in a box if you would have one."

He shows me some costume jewelry,"Why, yes I do. You know what would look lovely on you would be these."

"My late wife would make them. The ladies always loved them to add to a dress. They may not be in fashion, but my wife would always say, 'it gives it just that touch'."

I smiled, "Well sir you are the tailor. It seems I have been out of fashion for some time. Today I need to be fit to see the King."

He began his magic on me and I left his shop with little to no coin left, “Well in that case, let us fit you."

I had what I needed if I ever needed these items again.

"Sir, do you think it would be fine for you to hold these for me until your shop closes? I have so many things that need be done errand wise today. And going to court for the King I do not suppose he would be pleased if I had so many things on my party."

"My dear the pleasure would be mine. I shall hold it until you come back, no worry I close at dark. I will wait."

"Thank you, sir, thank you, good day."

I step out after I change. He lets me. I feel so out of place in these clothes. If they caught me, if they knew who I was, well let us just hope they don’t now.

Oh, Veronica.

Damn you, Evelyn Veronica.

I pull out the parchment and check where she is within the city limits. I know the place. It takes me a little less than a half of an hour to get there. I still have coin for a carriage to the King. I call on one. The coachman waits. I knock on her door.

She opens it in a very tired and disheveled manner. I want to spit on her. To curse her.

"Elle?"

I reply, sorely, like I am defeated by her person,"Yes, on behalf of Evelyn I have come to take you to the king. He needs to hear it from you before Bryn. Before you are brought into this."

She nods her head, like I do not understand the situation entirely, “He will not harm me. He cannot find me. If he wanted to find me it would have been longer ago that I would have been found. Do you not know why we have such oppression and filth in our streets?"

I know not what she talks about, because I stay at my grounds in my home. I do not walk the streets as she does. I do not live as she lives.

“I know not of what you talk about, I am a servant. I know of this and of the fact that you were one, but due to circumstance you are no longer one. I know that my survival depends on my duties. So yes I know of my own oppression, but not of the streets. I do not converse with the streets or play to them as if they are my own party. They are but what I walk on not talk to. What of this?"She grunts at me, “You do not understand, you won’t understand." “Please, let us go, if we are to go."

“Fine I will go to the King and maybe then you will understand the situation more clearly. Lead me then."

“The coach is outside. Do you need to gather anything since you will be given a new place to stay out of harm’s way? Do you need any help?"

She changes her mind as she speaks and shakes her head, "I do need to pack, but I am not going to get it all. I know I will be back here soon enough. Come let us go, wait, never you mind I will not pack."

I cannot stand her presence, but for her sake I have to pull myself together. We ride and I make sure everything is fine with her on the way there. She moves closer to me and holds my hand for a moment in silence.

She moves her body closer to mine. I wish to withdraw my hand and I stare at her as if she has lost her sanity, “I must tell you and you will know, and you should let your conscience decide for you. I will tell you mostly. I know what you thought of Bryn. I know you have loved him.”

She points down to her stomach,“But I have loved him longer. He has hurt us both, as you see."

I want to curse her. She cannot comprehend the pain.“How have you known him longer?" That question sticks out strong in my head so it is first out my lips.

She speaks clearing her throat, "Do you remember the day he first arrived at your grounds? Do you remember when I came shortly a month later?" I put the dates together trying to remember. How long it had been ago. Almost a year maybe a little over a year.”

She stares at me wide eyed,“I am almost due with this child."

I wish to spit on her, as she speaks.

Amelia looks down at our hands as she holds them, "This is his child. You have heard the rumors. You know it. I had him before you. I had him so many times before you. I had his lips. I had him almost every single night. In secrecy. He grew tired of it. He knew what would happen. He knew that my father would catch him for it. He knew what condition I was in then too, he left me then.”

She speaks this time in almost a whisper, “My heart was breaking and the pain of him leaving caused me to lose my first child.”

“I am sorry I did not know.”

“It is fine. He could never be royalty. Never. He always wanted to. He always had his schemes. So he left and I found him. He tried the magic on you. The act, the lies on you. Within that time he tried it with you. You would not give him what he wanted, I would, So he went back to me once again, and I fell for it. Now here I am with child again."

I am almost crying, not understanding fully what she meant by he could never be royalty, “Where did you have him?”

Had he tried the same scheme with her as with me?

“I cannot tell you. You will hear soon enough let us."

The coach is drawing through the open gates to the castle, as I hold her hand in mine knowing, hoping that the child within her womb is fine.

I stare at her with a cruel look meant for Bryn, "He will not break anyone’s heart again. I made sure of it."

5

"Son, I know she has been gone. I know we set out to find her. I know we had him as her lead. He was found and that wonderful person that led us to him was anonymous. So it could possibly be her. It could, but we cannot celebrate just yet. So go get dressed, go get shaved you look a mess. You really do. Go pull yourself together." "Dad. I just miss her. I just really do miss Amelia. I just miss her. I just don’t really know what to do.""Well son I remember the day she was born. I remember how excited you were that you had a sister. I remember the way her hair curled up when she was so small. I remember her saying "Dada, dada."

My father stares at me with a look of uncertainty upon his brow, “I remember the way your mother looked at her when she held her.  I know we will find her. You just have to look at yourself. Look at the way you look now. Tell yourself would she want to see you like that. Well, would she? You are becoming thinner, your hair is so long, you don’t shave, and you definatly do not look like a prince. The court hasn’t seen you in a year. Months away are fine, but a year? People are talking, our people are talking. The kingdom needs you soon son. You will have to learn not to let everything come against you, and take it in slowly, you have to put on a facade, must be strong and not let our people, our woman, our children see it. She chose this, chose to live her life, they didn’t take her, she chose this son.""Father. I don’t know anymore."

"What I know is you need your own life son. You are old enough, will reign soon enough. I and your mother will not be here forever. So find her, find the one to rule with you, find the woman, that person, like your sister did. She didn’t choose well, but she still chose.""I understand father. I understand."“I will let you go now. I will see you soon son. Today we have court, it is private, do try and look your best."I try not to give him a look of disdain, or pity, "I will."

~~~~

I hold Amelia’s hands in mine and I forgive her for everything. The story fits all I need to do is to ask the King for her pardon. It is all I need to clear her, and to make sure that child is not condemned for its father’s sins.

I wipe the tears away and squeeze her hand in mine. The devil is locked away now and will not hurt us again.

”I was stupid for it, stupid to love him again,You must know love truly know it.”

“It was the ugliest thing, I think I did know it.”

She nods her head at me “No, that was lust. The first man you pick, don’t let him fool you.”

Amelia stared at wildly and told me, “I will pray for you.”

I told her I would do the same for her and her babe.

---

The court would be private, I had asked for such in my letter. The king agreed and I was happy for such. I told her to wait while I went forward, a very shabby, quite sad looking man answers, and opens the door. I mistake him for a servant at first, but he is not I don’t believe. Realizing this at second glance, because of the way he moves.

His hair is so disheveled and his beard and his face need to be shaved. I want to push the hair out from his face. I want to lift his head from looking solely at the floor."Excuse me."He looks at me and answers, as if all the energy has been drained from his body, “Yes?”I reply with a jolt in my voice,"Well I was to have a private audience with the king."He speaks again as his eyes hold the floor beneath us,"Yes."

I want to ask him if he knows any other word than yes.Trying to over power him, and move him from myself, to get to the fact of the matter, I inquire rudely, "Well. Where is he?"“He will be here shortly he had me attend to this while he is out." I raised my eyebrow, “And you are?"

Amelia walks in as he says, “The Prince,” she says, “My brother."

His face is lifted as he hears her voice, his blue eyes are off the floor now with a look of shock, as if he has seen a dead person standing before him, "Amelia?""Dear brother. You look a mess. What has happened to you? Which woman did this to you? I shall her heart on a skewer."

He is her brother? He is the prince?

He answers with a smile, "You did."

Amelia pretends to open her chest in a very playful manner and to give him her heart, "Oh, well then here is my heart."

I am still shocked,“Amelia?"

How is she the princess?She turns to her brother, readying to introduce me, “This is...” she wants to begin with my name, but her father cuts in with "AMELIA!"

Her father? Wait, the King?

The king runs to her and hugs her. I move from the way. I let them hug. I find a spot to sit down letting everything sink in. She is our princess , then how in the hell was she our milk maid?

Mother could be in big trouble for this.

6

The King grabs my hands and pulls me up from the spot I had been sitting at, as they were rejoicing for Amelia's return,"Dear girl."

I watch her brother from the hug the King has given me, her brother stares at me intently, as he stands across from me. The sadness in him still. He seems as if he has not slept, or ate a proper meal in ages, as hugs his sister. I want to take my eyes from him, but the sadness in him draws my attention.I ask, "What has happened here?""Father, let us sit, Gavin." She motions for her father to help her sit down. I watch her notions so divine now. She doesn’t seem like she was ever a servant. Her jaw is raised and the regal quality in her command is charming. Charming? I don’t know what words to draw out of my mouth. I watch them sit down some feet from me.She insists for me to move myself closer to their persons,"Darling, do come closer.”

I look to her brother once more, he notices my stare, so I shift my eyes down. I was staring at him without realizing, damn.

I keep my eyes on Amelia and her father, as she begins,“A year ago I left you father. You must know why. I was with child.""My dear girl you would have burst by now, a child comes sooner," then his words fall silent, hushed even, and he gives an, Oh, I see now expression on his face.

Amelia begins her tirade on her father’s heart again, "I was with the devil Bryn. I was his wife. He served us, you knew he did father. While in silence I was his. I had became sick, worried even, and knew Bryn would not have to deal with the trouble I caused any longer, what with us hiding under your nose. He was the one who hid, I did not want to, so I miscarried from the stress, and the pain of his departure several months after we had left here. His foolish being left me, afraid you would find out I was with child, he moved to an estate. There he did the same work as he had done here at the castle.”

Amelia raises her arms, “It took me a month to find him, since I was weak from miscarrying. I had disguised myself as a servant, since I did seem weak and not my full self I decided to choose a position, one that was close to him near the stables; a milk maid.”

Amelia's gaze ventures to me, “Bryn was well, caught up already in should I say other affairs. You should listen to her now.”

She questions her father using every part of her voice, like it is the only bit of authority, “You have heard of how he has been trying to train girls, or find girls who look alike to the princess you lost, right father?”

Amelia looks angry now,“How he can gain title to be the King and said girl to be the Queen. Meanwhile Gavin was probably ready to step down, live as a commoner in poverty, just for his sister to return."

She raises her voice, "It takes no time at all for him to have found her, none. Don't you see the resemblance?"

They all look at me. I want to laugh really, I can’t be.

The king looks at me realizing the charade,the puzzle is starting to look clear now to all of us, starting finally to dawn in my head,"Poor child."

"Excuse me for this father, I am sorry. Bryn by that time knows I work there, sees my person, and begins his act upon me. After all he is my husband. Well, I become pregnant with child again, and now here I am, but you must listen to her, you must."I answer afraid of the effect of my said words,"He tries to bring me here, your advisers have seen me before, Sire some months ago."

I believed he loved me I wished to tell them, but I left it out, instead I spoke of what I knew,“When Amelia first found out she was pregnant.”

I speak trying to be humble, if I even knew how to in front of a King, no one can teach you subtleties on the matter,“I was an orphaned child, and Bryn spun me a story, as to say that you Sire were looking for your long lost daughter. That in fact I could one day be queen, that I was royalty.”

I set my hands down, as the Kings eyebrows went up, almost in shock, “I believed it seeing as well, me and Amelia are the same age, and we do look the same, but I never knew she existed, no offense you’re heinous. I am sheltered as you can see.""None taken, continue.""Your advisers they catch the act sir before I do, try to arrest him, he flees. Well from then on I have no word. Amelia doesn't either, then I guess she finds out that her husband left again. It had taken me months to find him, after you sent out the warrants, written and posted on almost every wall. I found him.”

Amelia's brother interrupts me, "Wait. You."

He stands up and comes to my person, stands before me, grabs my arms, "You found the bastard? You.”

I wanted to say, I relished the thought, but I held my tongue, “It was hard but I found him. I took the parchment to the sheriff, did not speak of my name, and now I am here, with your daughter.I look at Gavin, “With your sister,whom I did not know was the princess until now."

I am shocked, as he falls to his knees, holding me. I feel warmth rise through my shoulders at his touch. My body felt numb as if no one had ever touched me before. It felt frozen.

He holds my knees and weeps in them. I touch his hair, and keep pulling my hands up and down through it patting his head. Assuring him it will be fine.

Through the sobs he mumbles out the words, "You found him and my sister, you brought her to me?""Yes."

His cries began louder as he sets his head back to my knees. His arms under his face.

I gently grab his hands as if he were a child, "Shush. It will be fine now I have brought her to you. See."

I do not know what else to do I raise his head so he can look at her.

Amelia and her father watch Gavin,"It has been a long time coming for this. I must say I am sorry dear girl you are the one on the receiving end.”I reply not ashamed of his son's actions, but astonished that his childs resolve broke so easily upon my person, that he showed it so easily in front of me,"It is fine."

“Father. I do believe I need some rest now. The babe is unsettling in my belly, making quite some kicks. May I rest?"The king answers to his daughter lovingly like she had never been away, it was quite nice,“Why, yes my dear I will have the servants here to fetch you a room."

She turns to me, puts her hand on my shoulder, looking down at her brother who is still clinging to my legs like a child,"Thank you for everything. Would you be so kind as to see to my brother Gavin, here?""That is fine."

She looks at me, as if she is all that is divine in this world, with a look that almost pierces my soul,"Thank you. My father will see to your reward."

I nod, seeing as her brother is still resting against my legs, and it might possibly be quite hard to move him from me. Amelia walks away and he does not notice, until a few minuteslater he speaks, looking up at me, “I am sorry. Would you like to come to my chambers? I can have the servants bring you anything you should need.”“No that would be fine. Lead me."

He gets up from my knees, "I do so very much wish to apologize." I have been a mess since Amelia left us. I shouldn’t have fallen onto you like that."

Even though my love for Evelyn and Opal were not strong as his was for his sisters I answered accordingly not leaving him silent,"It is fine I can understand."

I follow alongside him with his hand in mine like he confirmed I was a child hood friend, we reach his room.

7 He opens the door for me as we reach it, walks towards his bed, sits, then beacons me to do so, as well by patting it. I sit down as he asks me to. He calls the servants to bring a small variety of meats and cheeses and some crackers.

“Would you like something to drink?”

I agree, and his servants bring that as well.

I survey the room around me it is so open. I do not believe I had ever been in a room so big, that was considered a bedroom. My eyes wonder all around me taking everything in.

Gavin doesn’t ask me any just observes me, "How could he say you look like my sister? That is wrong, so very wrong.""I know, I am not as beautiful as her."“No my sister is pretty, but you. You are beautiful." I blush and my face reddens, "Sire. I...”"You don’t have to speak. Know that you have done enough for my family. I thank you from the bottom of my being.”

His hands had been set by his side but now he grabbed mine in his, “You have returned my little sister and my father’s only daughter."

I watch his blue eyes, spark up, as he leans forward, like he is about to kiss me. I linger there with my body. It had been so long since I had been kissed, since I had been even touched. 

He pulls his hands to my face examining it, setting his face so close to mine, then he touches my eyelashes. I flinch not accustomed to the touch,"These are not hers."

He pulls my hair from my face, "This color could never pass. It is so dark but it has specks of red."

I sit there not saying a word. He is royalty and I am like his toy. He rolls his thumbs in circles on my hands which are at his lap now, as he stares into my eyes, using a very compelling stare.  I remove my hand from his,"I...I must be leaving soon."

He grabs my hand back sharply, "You must stay a little longer at least until my father rewards you." He tries to pull me back, but the attempt is not successful. I am afraid. His beauty is unparallel to mine, “I cannot. I really must go."

The pale gray blue of his eyes, his unshaven face, his peach complexion, and his ripe grapefruit colored lips. Even in sadness he is a spectacle. I cannot see him happy I would fall.

Love, I must not meet her again. I began my run,"Goodbye. Sire."

I make my way out of the castle, forgetting the reward, remembering only his touch, his gaze. I make my way back to the tailors. I cannot be caught dead in a higher dressed clothe, I am a servant not a courtesan, so I change back, and thank the tailor once more.I make my way to the sheriff. I leave him a piece of parchment to the king which I drew out in the coach.

It goes as follows:

"King John,

I thank you for my private seat in court today. My conscience shall be set at ease now that your daughter, the princess Amelia is safe with you. I do not need or will not except an award. I hope your family well for the next generation. I hope her babe shall grow big and strong. Good day, Sire.

Good day,

-E"

I leave the rest of my coin hoping that in god manner it will be received tomorrow by the king. I head down to estate, there are duties to be done, I know of it.

I run upstairs and hide my clothing beneath the floor boards. The cloak I fold and put under my bed. I start on the chores. Evelyn could not have understated the sentence, "the house need not be spotless anymore." The house always needed to be spotless. I prepared a nice soapy bucket of water, and began the action of the mop against the floor. It takes me awhile, but my pace has picked up at it. I know the technique of it.

I hear Opals shrewd voice, "ELLE!"

I set the floor to drying ignoring her cry for only a second, "COMING!"

I wash my hands in the kitchen, push back the rotating door, I ask her as nicely as I possibly can, "Yes?"

She gives me an ugly look, "Pickled ham, pig's feet now."

I want to choke on her words, would like to gag, knowing she will make me taste her food to make sure it is not poisoned. Some ignorant ritual she obtained from who knows where, since she is not royalty. Even Gavin didn’t have his servants taste his food. She is barbarian. If someone would like to have poisoned her, I do wish they would’ve done it in her sleep instead. I wouldn’t like to see her suffocate on her own vomit from poison, or dirty herself either as she died, because then I would have to clean her.

No a nice suffocation with a pillow should work while she slept. No mess. I think the physician could just blame it on her weight, maybe that would work.

I grab the disgusting pig’s feet from the jar, up an out of the horrid pickled juice.

I almost gag from the smell, I said under my breath, "Disgusting."

I have to eat this? Horrid beast of a girl. Who eats pig’s feet? You are what you eat I guess. I serve a boiled egg alongside it on her plate, and a nice cup of tea, with lemon and a slice of peach. I wash my hands again, take the tray to her, set it down.She demands of me, "Eat."

I put as much sarcasm, as I can into it, Opal this is your food I cannot eat my mistresses food. I would be punished."

"Eat it."

"I do not wish to get in trouble."

She roars, "Just eat the GODDAMN FOOD!"I look at her ears seem like they will explode with steam, like from the tea kettle. I wish to laugh, I am probably smirking, "Madam there is no need to get mad."

She gets up and tries to shove the food in my face.I push it back into her face, I ask her sarcastically waiting for a reply,"You know not even the prince has his servants check his food for poisoning. So why do you do it?""Nonsense, you are not the prince and have never met him, and he is stupid for not doing as I do.""Oh, so the prince is stupid? Our royal family is stupid? Shall I tell the next guard who comes along this so they can raise our taxes some more?"

“Shut up you pig."

I say under my breath,“Look who's talking." I think she heard me though.

She looks pissed, “That’s it, eat it."

She tries shoving the foot into my mouth I smack it out of her hand, it hits the tray and knocks her tea over.

Opal screams at the top of her shrill lungs, "Look what you did you bitch, MOTHERRR!"

I place my hands over my ears. And I am the bitch? No.

I began cleaning the mess and to make her another tray, while in the kitchen I can hear her say that I met the prince and every other wild tail in the book. I cry just one drop, then wipe it away.

I tilt my head up high, forget the pain again, then prepare for the lecture, as I cross the door, the speech comes assaulting my eardrums loudly. I do not pay attention to every single word in exact detail. I hear bits and pieces of-your a dumb, ignorant daydreamer, to you need to accept your place, as a servant and get back to reality. Then what really wakes me up is the slap hard across my face. The bitch slaps me."Maybe next time you will listen. Now eat the food.“

I pick up the slimy hoof and place it in my mouth. I want to spit it straight out, as the taste assaults my tongue, I swallow.

"Now is it fine?"

I wish to pretend to fall down into convulsions, vomit, pretend to actually be poisoned, but it’s not, as I reply with the last bit of my pride, solemnly, "Yes mother.""Good, now off to your room no supper until tomorrow."

I nod, make my way to my room, curl up into a ball, and wish I could be the one in the caged cell, like Bryn.

Anywhere but here, anywhere.