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Up In Smoke

by Kenneth Hoffman

 

Eva patiently waited for her stepbrother, Robert, to end his drone about the money he was to get from the will – something about opening a business with other people’s money and having the bank foreclose on some recalcitrant properties. I didn’t seem fair that Robert would inherit everything except the contents of the old house, but after all, she had to remind herself that she qualified only as a stepdaughter. Dad’s passing did not feel like losing someone she loved, but rather gaining a lump in her heart that wouldn’t go away.

She daydreamed about the wonderful talks she and dad shared. Talks about when Mom was alive, about the hard days of her ilness and about her passing were precious memories. Robert had been able to go to college, even ithough she had not. I wasn’t so bad being a veterinarian’s assistant, since she always loved animals. If only she could finish her schooling and become a vet herself. But she knew it was an impossible dream with no funds to finance her education.

Robert’s smile turned into a smirk as he offered his opinion on what she could do with the furniture left in the house. Eve couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to buy these old, run-down pieces, but Robert’s suggestion of a one price sale to a local second hand shop would have to do. Then Robert’s brow furrowed with annoyance as he ranted on about the missing stock portfolio belonging to her dad. There was no specific mention of it in the will and Robert wanted to make sure he got everything owed to him. Of course, the house and land, even though mortgaged to the hilt, would pay the outstanding bills with money left over.

After their first conversation about settling Dad’s affairs, Robert’s frequent phone calls became surlier by the day. Two weeks later a call from the police came with the shocking news that her Dad’s house had burned down to the ground. The house itself did have fire insurance to the tune of $100,000.00. Lucky Robert.

Lucky also was the fire investigator who canvassed the neighbors, one of whom recorded the license plate of a car in the street just before the time of the fire. The police soon identified Robert as the arsonist. But since it was his own property, as long as he didn’t file a claim (He said it was an accident) he got off scot free.

Sad with the loss of Dad’s mementos, Eva sat reading the single piece of his writing left in the world. Halfway down the last page of the will, he sentimentally included a poem he wrote for his beloved stepdaughter. It read:

You came like smoke into my lifeTo warm my heart and bless my wife.Your giving nature deserves to findA precious hearth for a heart that’s kind.

One month later, as a final gesture, Eva decided to make one last visit to the old homestead. She gathered the bags readied for her trip to her job at the animal hospital. She cried as she neared the street of her youth. One last turn revealed an empty lot already over-grown with weeds.

Reaching to the sky, a lone chimney stood mute, surrounded by ghostly memories of happier days. As Eva approached the small fireplace at the base of the chimney mentioned in her will, the mention of a hearth struck a chord in her mind. Realizing that her Dad may have hidden something under the hearthstone, she frantically grabbed a stick and pried at the hearthstone. Raising it, the dark space under the stone at first seemed empty. No, something wrapped in a dark, wet bundle occupied the space. Unwrapping the folds carefully, an envelope addressed to her contained a letter and a large number of stock certificates. Now tears of sadness turned to joy as she pressed the evidence of her father’s love to her chest. The sadness of her loss was magically transformed into the promising glow of a bright future.


Match Bout Record

Match records for this tale are organized in order from greatest margin of victory to greatest margin of defeat.

MatchesResultsStatus
Up In Smoke  vs  Tales of The Hang Buddy1 - 0Leading
Up In Smoke  vs  One Bedroom Apartment1 - 0Leading
Up In Smoke  vs  Neighbors1 - 0Leading
Up In Smoke  vs  PB Chapter One - Mitsuki Makoto1 - 0Leading
Comments (1):
They both could use polishing. Up in Smoke relies on cliches which tend to dull the story, which is nevertheless simple and easy to follow. PB Chapter One is much more original but confusing and difficult to follow. I found myself losing patience with it as I tried to figure out what it was about. I'll have to go with the more easy-to-understand story, which is mercifully short.
@ Sep 26, 2010, 12:48 AM
Up In Smoke  vs  Prize Of The Beholders1 - 0Leading
Comments (1):
I found The Beholders too long, overdone language used, all in all not a fun read to me. Up In Smoke, although a bit contrived, was short and to the point - no wasted words, a good start that lead to a sound finish.
@ Feb 6, 2011, 11:08 PM
Up In Smoke  vs  Gammerman's Choice1 - 0Leading
Up In Smoke  vs  Reveal1 - 1Tied
Up In Smoke  vs  The Righteous Path0 - 1Trailing
Up In Smoke  vs  Valiant0 - 1Trailing
Up In Smoke  vs  Eddie and The President0 - 1Trailing
Up In Smoke  vs  18830 - 1Trailing
Up In Smoke  vs  No Escape0 - 1Trailing
Up In Smoke  vs  Kill All Your Darlings0 - 1Trailing
Comments (1):
Usually, where there's smoke, there's fire; however, in this case, "Up In Smoke" pretty much fizzles out without lighting so much as a spark in our brains or in our hearts. "Kill All Your Darlings" does manage to cast a few intellectual flint sparks, sufficient enough to douse the hopes of the author of "Up in Smoke" in winning this match.
@ Apr 25, 2011, 3:15 AM
Up In Smoke  vs  Playing God0 - 1Trailing
Up In Smoke  vs  Forgiven0 - 1Trailing
Up In Smoke  vs  Skin for Skin0 - 1Trailing
Up In Smoke  vs  Deliver Me From Evil0 - 1Trailing
Comments (1):
Both are well writen, but I'll go with Deliver Me From Evil for the strong visuals. Not a big fan of suspense, but it does a good job of it. My only complaint is that it reads like a Lovecraft knock-off, and it's hard to improve on that style. I think it would translate well as a mini graphic novel, but in words alone it falls flat. Up In Smoke, on the other hand, has more emotional content but I found it to be a little too simple and predictable...almost like a light-hearted version of Tales from the Crypt with a happy ending. But that's just me.
Mike Lamb @ Aug 19, 2010, 5:43 PM
Up In Smoke  vs  Yellow Roses0 - 1Trailing

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